I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
