In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
