hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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