im having a threesome with these popsicles
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She bit a glass in half.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
