Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
