dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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