So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
