Jerry, you need to find god
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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