The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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