physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
