Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You are a genius and a whore.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
