i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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