I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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