I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
