Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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