If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
