this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
