My sheets look like a crime scene.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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