did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I take back everything I said about communal showers
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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