OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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