can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
