I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
