is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
