I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
