some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
