I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
