Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
