He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
