He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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