Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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