well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
