Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
