arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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