I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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