May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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