I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
