Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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