It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize