Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
