Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
