btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
