she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
