That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
