i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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