Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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