im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
