She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
