there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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