actually, I'm a sock model
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
