East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
