Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
