Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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