batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
