well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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