So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As shirtless as possible
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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