bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
