Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
