He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize