I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
