I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
