Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
