My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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