He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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